The Back Page (Satire)
The Allocator is our recurring everyman of institutional capital: calm, observant, quietly world-weary, impeccably but plainly dressed. He owns a small piece of nearly everything and is rarely surprised — only disappointed by the footnotes. He holds tea and a board pack, never a weapon or a protest sign. The system produces the comedy; he just reads it. Each week he appears as an editorial cartoon and a short film.
The Films
Low Demand
The Allocator · 17 July 2026
A dockside war-risk counter at the Strait, its premium waived for want of buyers — and The Allocator the only customer trying to buy the cover no one else wants.
Diversified
The Allocator · 16 July 2026
On owning a slice of everything, and the particular loneliness of the universal owner.
The Allocator
The Allocator · 15 July 2026
This week’s short film from the back page.
The Editorial Cartoons
“The customer started cooking”
The Allocator · 18 July 2026
The SaaS waiter presents the bill while the diner cooks his own dish on the table burner — in-housing and agentic arbitrage, drawn.
“Low Demand”
The Allocator · 17 July 2026
“We stopped charging — nobody was buying.” The physical world charges for the war; the market has stopped.
“Diversified”
The Allocator · 16 July 2026
The universal owner, surrounded by everything he owns, and no way to sell out of any of it.
New editions publish through the week. Satire. Not investment advice.